Today I’m not feeling too well which I guess explains why I’m on tumblr.
I started posting on here quite often when I was with Joe. But now Joe isn’t in my life anymore.
And you might be feeling sorry for me right now but don’t be. Joe and I were really never meant to be. I kept telling myself that something would happen between us but in actuality I knew the relationship was doomed.
By the way, when the first thing all your friends and family members say when they meet your partner is: “is he gay?” END THINGS RIGHT AWAY
Anyways, I’m pretty sure I only stayed with Joe because I was bored and we had great sex because after I started college, I ended things immediately with him.
Wanna know something funny?
I made Joe cry.
I think it’s funny because months earlier I had told him that I was developing feelings for him and he shut me down telling me we were never going to be anything.
Well, Joe ended up crying because I told him I was moving on and didn’t want to date him.
It’s funny the way things work.
College is great by the way.
But I’ll save that for another day when I’m in a good mood.
On August 30th, 2013, my nephew, Zack Thien Ho passed away.
For the first time in my life, I felt pain—I really felt it. And it was like no other pain that I’ve felt in all my years.
The last time I dealt with death was when my grandmother passed away. But even then I didn’t feel this pain. Probably because I knew she was going to die. I knew that she was sick and her time was limited. I was prepared for her death. And I guess that made it sort of okay…
But Zack was a month old. And no one ever prepared me for this.
No one prepared me for this pain. No one prepared me for the phone call from my mother bawling her eyes out. No one prepared me for the moment I would walk into the hospital room only to find my sister cradling her dead son.
Just like no one can give me answers to all the questions I’ve been pondering.